


Breathe in the Future

by thats_entirely_too_much_tuna



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romance, Swearing, Time Travel, medium burn?, not quite slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-15 20:03:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11813214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thats_entirely_too_much_tuna/pseuds/thats_entirely_too_much_tuna
Summary: It was at that point, about a rung away from being able to look through the open window, that Todd began to hear voices. They sounded familiar; in fact, he was certain they belonged to Other Them, but something about their soft tone gave him pause. He stopped climbing and strained his ears, already beginning to regret this whole thing.“What’s happened?” Dirk shout-whispered underneath him.“Nothing, just… Hold on.”Todd hesitantly placed his hand on the last rung and pulled himself up so that only his eyes peeked over the windowsill. Yup. Big mistake. Maximum regret.When a case has Dirk and Todd stumped, they decide to jump forward in time and ask their future selves for advice. Uncomfortable situations and overdue realizations ensue.





	1. Losing My Layers

**Author's Note:**

> I'm extremely excited to share this with everyone! I had the idea for it in March, and due to the insanity of my job, I only just finished it. I'll be posting a chapter every couple of days (there are three, plus a little epilogue), so the entire thing should be published within the week. 
> 
> FYI, although I am currently on my ninth re-watch of the show, there are still some logistical things about how the time machine works that confuse me, so I'm taking some liberties for plot reasons. Fear not, you'll still enjoy the story!
> 
> The title is from the song "Alive" by Madden, which will apparently be making an appearance in a big way this season. Also, the chapter titles are basically the first verse of the song in consecutive order, because I'm extra like that.
> 
> Kudos and comments would absolutely make my week, so please feel free to leave feedback, and enjoy!

“Dirk, this feels really unsafe.”

Todd’s feet were planted as firmly as they could be on the uneven forest floor. His hands were cupped just above his head to provide a foothold for Dirk, who was currently grappling for purchase on one of the least climbable trees Todd had ever laid eyes on. 

“I feel fine,” Dirk said brightly, eliciting an eyeroll from Todd which, although crippling, went unseen. Dirk may have been the definition of a beanpole, but he was still a good three inches taller than Todd, and his thin stature wasn’t enough to stop Todd from shaking under his weight.

“I’m thrilled for you,” Todd grumbled as Dirk unceremoniously placed his foot on Todd’s face. “Watch it, Dirk, Jesus!”

“Whoops! Sorry!”

They were on a case, obviously. It was something endlessly convoluted involving treasure maps, tidal waves, tiaras, and those were just the Ts. In fact, if Todd were being honest, despite his best efforts, he’d been having trouble grasping the thread of this one so far. He was sure Farah would have been useful to have around, but she was off visiting Lydia in Belize, and had left the boys on their own for this one, which was just their luck, because this case gave new meaning to the word confusing. Every time Todd thought he had put the pieces together, a new element would surface, shattering his logic to pieces and baffling him more than ever. At this point, he’d been blindly following Dirk around, hoping to prove his usefulness in other ways, like protecting Dirk from any imminent danger. Or being his step-stool, apparently. As Dirk swayed dangerously, Todd sighed for about the seventy-fifth time that afternoon.

“You couldn’t have picked a tree with branches you could actually reach?” he asked, having spotted at least five nearby trees that would be more suitable than this one.

“I suppose I could have,” Dirk said, one leg now wrapped around the trunk, the other balancing precariously in Todd’s outstretched hands. “But whatever other tree I ended up picking wouldn’t have been _this_ tree.”

“And what’s so special about _this_ tree?” Todd asked, as Dirk hoisted his other leg up out of Todd’s hands and around the trunk.

“Absolutely no idea.”

Todd let his hands drop to his sides in resignation and took a step back, watching as Dirk tried in vain to shinny up the tree, like an ambitious koala. When Dirk had been at this for about two minutes, and had moved less than two inches, Todd spoke up.

“I really don’t see how this is helping.”

“I need,” Dirk began, in and amongst exertion noises, “a higher vantage point. If I could just—oomph—reach the top, I could look around and see what we’re missing.”

“We’re searching for an invisible diamond, Dirk,” Todd reminded him, this being one of the few details of the case he was certain of. “This is a shitty plan. For _so_ many reasons.”

“Oh, ye of little faith,” Dirk said, looking down to give Todd a confident grin before doggedly tossing an arm up to grab a branch that was most definitely out of reach, losing his grip on the tree in the process. Dirk emitted a high-pitched squeak as he began to quickly slide down the trunk. 

“Dirk!” Todd cried out, dashing forward to help. He reached out instinctively, and shoved both hands up to stop Dirk’s fall. This worked for just about as long as it took for Todd to realize that his hands were fixed securely on Dirk’s ass, at which point he snatched them away with a quick step backwards. Dirk fell the rest of the way to the ground, landing at Todd’s feet with an “Oof!”

Todd reddened. “Oh, fuck, Dirk, I'm-- are you okay?”

“Urrrrrrrgh.”

“Shit. Sorry.” Todd watched awkwardly as Dirk heaved himself up and began to brush himself off. “Are you okay?” he repeated half-heartedly.

“I suppose it could’ve been worse,” Dirk replied, plucking a twig out of his hair and looking blankly at it. “You did break my fall. To a certain extent. So, erm… thank you?”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Todd paused to clear his throat, trying to act casual. “Any time.” 

A deep flush spread across Dirk’s face. He nodded curtly at Todd and hurriedly changed the subject. Todd couldn’t tell if Dirk was blushing because of his embarrassing fall, or because of Todd's problematic hand placement, but either way, Todd felt guilty and uncomfortable and weirdly distracted and his face was burning, and it was all incredibly fucking frustrating. There was literally no reason for him to be reacting this way. It was just Dirk, after all. This was the same man who had once demanded that Todd “push his bum” to “make him go up”. His best friend. And when you have a best friend, there’s nothing wrong with accidentally touching their ass, as long as it's in pursuit of a greater goal, like their general safety. That's all this was. Just some well-intentioned butt-touching between friends. Plus, there were far worse butts to touch than Dirk’s. Objectively speaking. 

“Todd?”

Todd looked up at Dirk with a start. 

“What?”

“I asked for your opinion,” Dirk said, giving Todd an unsettled look. 

“It’s—uh… wait, on what?”

“On what to do next,” Dirk enunciated, his eyes widening incrementally. “Honestly, Todd, are you sure _you_ haven’t fallen out of a tree?”

Looking at Dirk’s concerned face, Todd suddenly found himself very tired of this whole… thing. “I don’t know, Dirk,” he said acerbically. “Why don't you whip out your crystal ball and ask it how to solve this case?” Dirk shot him a hurt look, and Todd added regret to the laundry list of emotions he was feeling. But just as he was about to apologize, Dirk’s eyes suddenly brightened in astonishment.

“Ooh,” Dirk breathed. “Todd. You may actually be on to something.”

“How?”

“The time machine!” Dirk said eagerly. “Patrick Spring’s time machine! We only ever used it to go into the past, and then to return to the present, but we could use it to go into the _future_ , and ask our future selves for advice on this case! Only hints, mind you, and just this once. It’s cheating otherwise, and the universe doesn’t take too kindly to that—”

“Wait, wait, wait, Dirk, what time machine are you suggesting we use?” Todd interrupted, desperate to add some sense to this exchange before Dirk got too excited about the impossible. “The one we sent to the past, or the one Estevez shot to shit?”

Dirk was shaking his head happily. “I have a terrifically good feeling about this, Todd. Come on, we've got to get to the Spring mansion!”

He bounded towards the car as Todd shouted after him, “Yeah, because smoke inhalation is definitely what we both need right now!” Dirk didn't answer. Todd took a steadying breath and followed. 

***

Once again, Todd found himself standing before the wreckage of the Spring mansion. Friedkin had certainly done a thorough job in destroying it. It was practically a skeleton now; a perverse mix of ash, soot, and the debris from hundreds of years of history. The lives of people Todd cared about reduced to charred remains. 

He hadn’t been at the mansion since just after Dirk had been kidnapped, when he’d stood with Farah, forlornly surveying the damage to the place she had called home for so many years. Todd had expected her to fall to her knees in tears or something understandable like that, but it was Farah, after all. She had merely glared at the wreckage, fists clenched by her sides, trembling with rage and the irony of gaining four million dollars only to lose all her worldly possessions and her new friend.

Now, with Dirk standing steadfastly by his side, Todd could almost picture Farah and Lydia on the back of a rhino, gallivanting past them on the grass.

“Shall we go in?” He was pulled out of his reverie by Dirk’s hand, warm and comforting on his shoulder. He wasn’t sure if he liked the way his stomach dropped at the contact. He shoved the thought aside and nodded.

Todd tread carefully inside after Dirk, hoping that the universe would steer them clear of any shoddy support beams or weak spots in the floor. Despite the time that had passed since the fire, smoke still hung thick and heavy in the air, and Todd had to breathe shallowly to avoid a coughing fit. 

He still didn’t really know how this plan was meant to work. Dirk, however, continued to merrily mutter to himself as he soldiered on through the ruins of the house, and Todd shadowed him with tentative trust. 

Suddenly, Dirk stopped short in his tracks. “Here,” he said confidently. “There’s something right here.” 

Todd, who had been following him quite closely, bumped forcibly into him, causing them both to stumble forward onto a section of flimsy floorboard that they could immediately tell was not going to take their weight. They looked at each other in abject horror. “Shit,” Dirk said, the floor beginning to cave beneath them. The two of them automatically clutched at one another as they plummeted to the ground below. Todd landed with a resounding thud, and Dirk landed right on top of him, winding him severely. 

They lay there for a moment in a tangle of arms and legs, letting the air make its way back into their lungs. “Thank you, Todd,” Dirk said, lifting his head marginally from Todd’s shoulder. “That’s the second time you’ve broken my fall today.” Todd could barely see anything in the dingy room they were in, but he thought he spotted an impish smile on Dirk’s face. Something about it brought him to the realization that Dirk’s body was flush against his own, his breath making the hair on Todd’s neck stand up. Once again, his stomach twisted in a not entirely unpleasant way, but he tensed up all the same, nervously wrenching himself out from under Dirk’s weight, scurrying backwards until he hit his head on something hard. He let out a sharp cry of pain. 

“Oh, God, are you alright?” Dirk rushed over to Todd, peering at his head with concern.

Todd brushed Dirk’s hands away from his head, getting up shakily. “No, don’t—I’m fine.”

Dirk stood up after him, looking momentarily hurt before his eyes focused on something just behind Todd, and he inflated like a balloon. “Aha!” he exclaimed, looking fit to burst with happiness. “I knew it.”

At that moment, Todd’s eyes finally adjusted enough to recognize the room they were in. Hazy, electricity-ridden memories shot through him; a bloodied Dirk slumped on the ground, two strangers dressed as bellhops, Farah cradling Lydia Spring in her arms. He slowly turned over his shoulder to see a time machine sitting on the desk he had just bumped his head on. He whipped around to face Dirk, who was grinning knowingly at him.

“Wait, but this is—this is impossible,” Todd stuttered.

“I think you mean highly improbable.”

“I know what I mean, Dirk! I just don’t understand how—”

“I _know_ ,” Dirk enthused, poring over the machine. “Fascinating, isn’t it? Perhaps the machines exist not only in our time loop, but in other universes as well. We might be looking at an _alternate universe time machine_ , Todd. Or maybe the time machines can travel _by themselves_ when they sense they’re needed, and this one has journeyed here straight from the lab of Zackariah Webb. Or _maybe_ —”

“Or maybe there’s an explanation that makes sense,” Todd said flatly, reaching past Dirk to pull out a crudely-written note that had been shoved into the top of the machine.

“Oh,” Dirk said, deflating a bit. “Quite right.”

Todd scanned the note, Dirk peering over his shoulder.

_Found this in the wreckage of the Animal Transfer Unit._  
_Bart said she had a feeling you’d need it, so I fixed it up. You’re welcome._  
_-Ken_

Todd sighed wearily. He should’ve known better than to be surprised at any bizarre twist or coincidence the universe threw at them. 

“Brilliant,” Dirk gushed. “I’ve always liked them.” Todd shot him a scornful glare. “Well,” he revised, slightly abashed, “as soon as she stopped trying to kill me, that is.”

Dirk continued to ramble about parallels and interconnectedness, but Todd quickly stopped listening as he glanced cursorily around the room. Something else was off.

“Dirk, none of this stuff is burnt,” Todd interrupted.

“What? Oh. Yes, I noticed that, too,” Dirk told him.

“Maybe the fire couldn’t get past the stone walls,” Todd mused.

“Very convenient for our purposes, if you ask me. Don’t you see, Todd? The universe is on our side!” Dirk began fiddling with the settings on the time machine, his tongue poking out the side of his mouth. “There. I’ve set it for a month from now. I should think that’ll give us enough time.” He placed a hand on the crank and looked up at Todd with an enigmatic smile. “Are you ready?”

Todd granted him a half-smile and placed his hand on top of Dirk’s, a slight shiver going through him as he did. He chalked it up to the thrill of the situation, and began to help Dirk turn the crank. If Dirk was a leaf in the stream of creation, Todd was most certainly a pawn. But, he thought, as he was blinded by light and sucked away through time, sometimes he didn’t mind so much.

***

“Are we heading inside any time soon?” Todd asked Dirk. They were currently crouched behind a car, staring straight through its foggy windows at The Ridgely… and it was a month in the future.

“Hush, Todd, I’m strategizing!” Dirk whispered, gesticulating wildly, his narrowed eyes darting back and forth as if he was deciding between two options that only he could see.

“On what, how to walk into our building?” 

“Well, it’s not quite that simple, is it?” Dirk said, turning to fix Todd with a look. “There are a variety of outcomes here that we can’t predict. If the future versions- well, technically, now that we’re here, present versions- of us are in that building right now, someone likely saw us- them- walk in.”

“Okay, and?”

“And it might look a tad suspicious if we waltz in right after them!” Dirk said, as though Todd were incredibly thick for not knowing this. “I think it would be best if we kept to tradition and entered through the window.”

“Dirk, I really don’t think anybody here is keeping tabs on our comings and goings,” Todd reasoned, pointedly ignoring the implication that Dirk’s habit of window-entering was now a tradition.

“Never underestimate the nosiness of a neighbor, Todd,” Dirk said with a conspiratorial smile. “Besides, what if one of our future selves has gotten a haircut? Or lost a limb? You and I can’t risk being seen shaggy-haired and… and limbful.” 

“Limbful?”

“Full of limb, Todd, _obviously_.”

“Okay, I’m extremely doubtful that either of those things are gonna happen,” Todd assured him. “Well, at least, not the limb thing. I hope.”

“Yes,” Dirk said with a firm nod. “Definitely best to use the window.”

“Are you even listening to me?” But Dirk and his gangly legs were already sprinting towards the side of the building.

Todd caught up to Dirk just as he was beginning to clamber up the dumpster in an attempt to scale the wall. Nope. They weren’t doing this again. Todd grabbed Dirk by the collar of his jacket and yanked him backwards. 

“Hey!” Dirk yelped, turning to face him with an indignant shoulder roll. “What was that for?”

“Look, Dirk, one Todd is already annoyed at you right now- do you really want to piss off another one? Because honestly, your track record with climbing through windows isn’t great.”

“Todd, please,” Dirk said dismissively. “The window is really our only viable option here.”

“Uh, last time I checked, there was a perfectly functional door right around that corner.”

“Listen, even if there _wasn't_ a risk of being seen, which there still definitely is,” Dirk began, bouncing on his heels, “the window would be _so_ much more fun.”

Todd glared at Dirk, trying to keep a firm resolve, but his glare was returned with a look of such pure and unbridled enthusiasm that Todd decided to let it go.

“Fine,” he sighed. “But I’m going up first.”

“Right. Why’s that?”

“Because I can only take so much of your ass in my face while you climb things.”

Dirk shrugged happily. “Whatever keeps you sane.”

Todd gave him a terse nod and stepped forward, smoothly hoisting himself up on the dumpster and grabbing the bottom rung of the fire escape, as he’d done several times before. He began to climb, and Dirk didn’t waste any time in following. A small part of Todd knew he was about to experience the eerie sensation of seeing alternate versions of himself and Dirk, but at this point, it felt like going on a vaguely intimidating rollercoaster that you’ve successfully ridden in the past. The two of them did such completely bizarre things on a daily basis that this was sort of business as usual. Of course, there was a chance that Other Todd and Dirk weren’t even going to be in the apartment, but Todd highly doubted Dirk would have led them there if that were the case. 

It was at that point, about a rung away from being able to look through the open window, that Todd began to hear voices. They sounded familiar; in fact, he was certain they belonged to Other Them, but something about their soft tone gave him pause. He stopped climbing and strained his ears, already beginning to regret this whole thing. 

“What’s happened?” Dirk shout-whispered underneath him.

“Nothing, just… Hold on.”

Todd hesitantly placed his hand on the last rung and pulled himself up so that only his eyes peeked over the windowsill. Yup. Big mistake. Maximum regret. 

“Todd, what’s going on?”

Todd leaned down towards Dirk. “Turn around,” he murmured. “Now.”

“Wha- But why?!” Dirk asked, trying to climb over Todd to get a proper look through the window. “We’re so close!”

“Dirk, what the hell are you doing?” Todd hissed, bucking his feet against Dirk in an unsuccessful attempt to keep him back. “Listen to me, I’m serious.”

“Okay, I don’t know why you’ve suddenly turned into Mr. Mind-Changer,” Dirk said, gripping the back of Todd’s jacket, “but I _do_ know that we _have_ to go in there!”

“If you don’t back off, all you’re gonna know is the feeling of your head hitting that dumpster!”

“I really don’t see what you’re fussing about, Todd,” Dirk said, using Todd’s head as leverage for one final boost, thereby finally getting a glimpse of what lay through the window. 

Inside, on the couch, sat Other Todd and Dirk. More specifically, Dirk was sitting on the couch, and Todd was sitting on Dirk—straddling him, rather, and kissing his neck. Todd’s shirt was strewn on the floor beside them, next to a twisted tie covered in tiny ice cream cones. Dirk was still wearing his shirt, unbuttoned though it may have been, and his hair was significantly messier than usual (mostly due to Todd languorously dragging his fingers across Dirk’s scalp). 

Outside the window, Todd glared murderously at a very stunned Dirk. 

“Oh,” Dirk said faintly, “I see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Next one should be up on Thursday.
> 
> Don't forget to leave a comment, if the spirit moves you!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading. <3


	2. Letting You Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Oh, Todd, don’t worry!” Other Dirk said breathlessly, placing his hand on Other Todd’s thigh in relief. “It’s only us!”_  
> 
> _“Yeah, I realized that,” Other Todd said. “I mean, the timing seems about right.”_
> 
> _“Yes, we did expect us to show up sooner or later.”_
> 
> In which our boys make their own acquaintance, and the universe lets them have nice things for once (though not without a bit of a struggle from Todd).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who gave me feedback on the first chapter! You all made me so very happy, and I appreciate every one of you.
> 
> FYI, this one contains slightly sexual situations (nothing M-rated...yet), a brief pararibulitis mention, and some minor panicking from Todd. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Can we go now?” Todd growled.

“Er,” Dirk faltered, staring dumbfoundedly through the window. “I’m—I’m not sure.”

“For shit’s sake, Dirk,” Todd said, exasperated. “Please don’t tell me the universe wants us to go inside.”

“Well…”

“Because I have no idea what the fuck is happening in there, but I’m not about to interrupt it.” 

Dirk turned his gaze from the couch to Todd. “Oh, well, if that's all that's stopping you,” he said breezily, “then I’ll interrupt for you.” And with that, he gave Todd a surprisingly forceful shove through the window, tumbling in right after him so that they crashed painfully into the surrounding furniture and landed in an uncoordinated heap on the floor. Todd let out a pained groan as Other Todd and Dirk dragged away from each other in panic, Other Dirk whipping around to poke his head over the back of the couch.

“Oh, Todd, don’t worry!” Other Dirk said breathlessly, placing his hand on Other Todd’s thigh in relief. “It’s only us!”

“Yeah, I realized that,” Other Todd said. “I mean, the timing seems about right.”

“Yes, we did expect us to show up sooner or later.”

Todd opened his mouth to speak, but found it hard due to Dirk’s elbow digging into his windpipe. 

“Dirk,” he gurgled. “Can you please stand up?”

“Right, yes, I can do that,” Dirk said, hurriedly removing himself from Todd. “Sorry.”

Todd dragged himself to his feet and instinctively shuffled to the right so Other Dirk didn’t have to strain his neck looking at him over the back of the couch. Dirk moved with him. “Listen, I, um,” he said to the floor. “Whatever this is, I—I really don’t want to know.” 

“Ah. Yes,” Other Dirk began. “Now, I realize this is a bit of a surprise—”

“That’s an understatement,” Other Todd said, giving Other Dirk a slightly reproachful look. “Remember?”

“Well,” Other Dirk amended grudgingly, “we’ve just solved a particularly grueling case. We’re… celebrating.”

“Okay, to me, celebrating is, like… pizza, and some beer or something,” Todd said, “but, you know, whatever.”

“Jeez, I really was in denial,” Other Todd commented, absent-mindedly splaying his fingers across Other Dirk’s chest, who replied with a contented hum. Todd tried his best not to think too deeply about this casual show of affection, even though his brain wouldn’t stop screaming at him that, no matter what, he was going to end up in this exact place. Half-naked on his couch. With Dirk. Who really had a lot of freckles on his neck. But, again, he was trying his best not to think about it.

Dirk interrupted Todd’s minor panic by gasping and diving towards the couch, fishing underneath Other Todd’s crumpled t-shirt and resurfacing with a leather jacket that was a dazzling shade of fuchsia. “Wow, this is a brilliant jacket!” he said excitedly.

“Right?” Other Dirk gushed, turning to him with a grin. “I got it quite recently, actually, from—”

“Dirk,” Todd said sharply. The last thing he needed was to lose what little control he had of this situation.

“Yes?” both Dirks responded.

“ _You_ ,” Todd specified, nodding towards his Dirk. “Can we…stay on task? Please?”

Dirk pouted a little. “Can’t a man take a moment to enthuse over his future jacket?”

Todd narrowed his eyes. “Why don’t you seem more surprised by all this?”

“Todd, please. Given my line of work, it would take a bit more than this to surprise me,” Dirk said flippantly. “Actually, I’d go so far as to say I’m hardly ever _surprised_ , per se. Mostly either unexpectedly pleased, or unexpectedly terrified. Or confused, that’s a significant one.”

“Okay, and what about right now?”

“Well, I’m certainly pleased about this jacket!” Dirk beamed from ear to ear. He then swiveled to Other Dirk. “Is it retro?”

Other Dirk shook his head intensely, his smile replicating his counterpart's exactly. “It’s the real deal.”

Dirk squealed happily, studying the jacket at arm’s length as he walked back over to Todd, who was having a hell of a time handling two Dirks smiling simultaneously. 

“Look,” he began, directing his words at Other Dirk, “we’re just here to get advice about the treasure map case, so, as amazing as that jacket is, would you mind just giving us a couple of hints or something so we can… leave?”

“Oh, right, yes, of course,” Other Dirk said, adopting a tone that suggested what he was about to say was of the utmost importance. “Now, what I'm about to say is of the utmost importance. Are you listening?” 

“Yes,” Todd and Dirk said together, in respectively exasperated and excited tones.

“I can only provide a few vague hints, mind you.”

“That's fine,” Todd said impatiently. 

“Okay. So. One of the things you're looking for may or may not be inside a pineapple. I can't say for sure. I can _definitely_ tell you to give anyone wearing a cowboy hat a wide berth. And you should try to collect as many shiny stones as you can—you'll be needing them sooner than you might think.”

“Also, you'll need to give Act Five of Hamlet a once-over,” Other Todd added.

“Ooh, yes, Ham...whatever,” Other Dirk said, enthusiastically flailing his hands. “That one is essential. Excellent remembering, Todd.”

Other Todd grinned at him, shamelessly grabbing a fistful of his undershirt. “You know, you’re really hot when you give instructions.”

“Todd, have a bit of decency,” Other Dirk admonished, a flush spreading noticeably across his bare skin. “We are standing right there.” He jerked his head towards Dirk and Todd.

“Dirk, it’s a time loop,” Other Todd smirked, inching his face dangerously close to Other Dirk’s. “I was never not gonna say that. And I was never not gonna do this.”

Todd watched in disbelief as Other Todd captured Other Dirk’s lips beneath his. “Whoa, hey, hey, hey, guys, guys, guys!” he objected, his protests going completely ignored as Other Dirk began ardently returning the kiss. “Can we not—?” he tried. No response. He hadn't the slightest clue what to do.

He supposed this was what an out-of-body experience must feel like, except this—seeing _himself_ stick his tongue down Dirk Gently's throat—was far weirder. His instinct was to look at Dirk for guidance, which seemed pretty desperate, but what else do you do when you’re watching a future version of yourself make out with a future version of your best friend, the present version of whom just happens to be standing beside you? So he turned his head towards Dirk, and, oh, _now_ he was looking appropriately embarrassed; his eyes were very large, his face was very red, and he had a white-knuckled grip on the leather jacket. But Todd couldn’t fucking bring himself to say anything to him, and Dirk either couldn’t feel Todd’s eyes on him, or was ignoring him, because he was not looking away from the display in front of them. Todd dared a glance back at the couch to find that Other Todd had slipped his hands beneath Other Dirk's undershirt, and Other Dirk was now clinging tightly to Other Todd's hips as they licked into each other's mouths, and… wait, Other Dirk kind of looked like he knew what he was doing.

This was surprising. Was it weird that this was surprising? Todd had always operated under the assumption that Dirk had little to no experience when it came to sex, but this was evidence to the contrary. Not that he regularly thought about whether Dirk was getting any. It was just… surprising.

Now Todd felt like an asshole for assuming that this energetic sunshine man knew as much about sex as Todd did about the migration patterns of Arctic terns (i.e., nothing). But then again, they’d traveled forward a month. You can cover a lot of ground in a month. Maybe Other Todd taught him all this. _Maybe_ you'll _teach him all this_ , his brain supplied helpfully. And rightly so, because now Other Dirk was lightly running his hands up and down Other Todd’s back while tracing his ear canal with his tongue, both of which were favorite moves of Todd’s, and of fucking course Other Dirk would know that by now. Todd felt so much heat flood his face that he almost thought he was having a pararibulitis attack. 

Right then, Dirk interrupted with a rather conspicuous clearing of his throat, startling Todd, and causing Other Them to turn towards the sound. Todd couldn’t help but feel a tad disgruntled that they responded to Dirk’s throat-clearing after ignoring his far less subtle outburst, and he returned their look of appraisal with a sulky glare. 

“Right, you lot look uncomfortable,” Other Dirk concluded. When nobody said anything to confirm or deny this statement, he continued. “Look, I'm just gonna say it-- like it or not, the universe wants us, _you_ , to be together.”

“Yeah, and when he says ‘like it or not’, he's speaking figuratively,” Other Todd added. “You will like it. A lot.”

“And I believe the point of this, right now,” Other Dirk went on, “is for us to convince you to give it a go. Now,” he said, leaning towards them seriously, eyes narrowed, “is it working?” 

“Um,” Todd said noncommittally, as Dirk unintelligibly stammered something or other, eyes the size of dinner plates.

“You know what?” Other Todd said, gingerly getting up from his spot on Other Dirk’s lap. “This might help.” 

He casually made his way towards them and stopped right in front of Dirk, whose eyes were growing wider still, if possible. Nobody moved for a moment, and then Other Todd flung the fuchsia jacket out of Dirk’s grasp with one hand, and grabbed Dirk's collar with the other, pulling him in for a lingering kiss. Dirk's eyes fluttered shut and he froze for a split-second, eyebrows drawn close together. 

Now it was Todd's turn to be wide-eyed, because this was _his_ Dirk, being kissed for the first time by a Todd that wasn’t _him_ , which made him feel oddly jealous of himself. He felt like a layer of something intangible had been removed, bringing him closer to something he couldn’t identify. He watched, transfixed, as Dirk began to relax, eyebrows floating up as the tension left them, melting into the kiss with a soft exhale. Other Todd placed a hand on the small of Dirk's back to drag him slightly closer, prompting Dirk to make a tiny little noise into Other Todd's mouth that somehow made Todd's stomach drop, and Todd’s theory about Dirk’s experience level was definitely correct because Dirk's hands were very timidly placed on Other Todd's hips, and he wasn't really doing anything with his mouth, but Todd still found himself trying to take in every detail as it happened, and okay, that was a pretty obvious clue. And so was the fact that Todd couldn't help imagining what it would be like if he pushed himself aside and took his own place.

He just might have, too, if Other Todd hadn’t pulled away at that moment, leaving Dirk glassy-eyed and slack-jawed. He turned away from Dirk to put a hand on Todd’s shoulder and say, “You should really try that sometime.” Todd managed a weak nod. Other Todd gave him a slight smile and headed back towards the couch, where Other Dirk was shooting Dirk an energetic thumbs up. Dirk feebly returned it, still visibly staggered. He then glanced almost imperceptibly in Todd’s direction before scratching the back of his neck and uneasily shifting his gaze to the ground.

“Right,” he said, his voice noticeably lower than before. “Well, I believe we got what we came for. We’ll just… leave you to it, then.”

“Thanks,” Other Dirk beamed. 

“And good luck,” Other Todd added. “Not that you’ll need it. I mean, you end up here.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Todd said. Another understatement.

Other Todd gave them one more smile before extending a hand to Other Dirk. “Come on,” he said quietly, “let’s go to bed.”

Dirk looked at Todd blankly. “Bed? It’s four in the after—Ow!” he complained, as Todd elbowed him quite forcefully in the ribs. “ _Ohhhh_ , I see. Yes. We should leave.”

“You think?” Todd said sarcastically, averting his eyes and heading for the door as Other Dirk took Other Todd’s outstretched hand and followed him to the bed.

“Wait, where are you going?” Dirk asked.

Todd turned around. Dirk was still standing expectantly by the window. Todd rolled his eyes, and strode over to him.

“We’re not leaving through the fucking window, Dirk,” he said. 

“But—” Dirk complained, as Todd grabbed his arm, dragged him outside, and shut the door, leaving himself and Dirk alone in the hall. “We didn’t even say goodbye!”

“Yeah, I think we’ll all live,” Todd said, eyes trained on the floor. An awkward silence followed this statement, heavily loaded with everything that had just happened. Todd drew in a breath and asked, “So, do you, uh… do we need to talk about any of that?” 

“I shouldn’t think so,” Dirk said nonchalantly. “It all seems pretty straightforward to me.”

Another silence. 

“You still don’t seem that surprised,” Todd eventually said to Dirk’s left shoe.

“Well, I’m not, really.”

Todd glanced suspiciously up at Dirk, whose eyes immediately flicked up to meet his. “Did you know this was going to happen?” he asked.

Dirk squirmed for a moment. “Not this exactly,” he hedged. “But I did have… a very slight inkling that something of this variety might occur, yes.” 

“A _very slight_ inkling?” Todd said incredulously. “So them putting on that whole show in there-- it wasn’t for you at all, was it? It was just to get me on board?”

“Just because I kind of knew something sort of might happen a little bit doesn’t mean I was one hundred percent gung-ho about it!” Dirk clarified, adding meekly, “Though if I did have any misgivings before, they’re gone now.”

“But you knew. And you didn’t say anything.”

“Oh, and what should I have said? ‘Hey, Todd, I know at this point you’ll go to your grave denying any non-platonic feelings you may have for me, but my hunch says we’ll be having it off before the month is out’?” Dirk’s words were appropriately (or inappropriately, depending on how you looked at it) underscored by some faint noises and giggling on the other side of the door.

Todd felt himself turn a deep shade of crimson. “Didn’t stop you from getting all weirded out once they started… you know.” He jerked his head in the general direction of the apartment, then judiciously took a few steps down the hall until he was out of earshot.

“Knowing something is one thing, Todd,” Dirk said defensively, slowly walking towards him. “Actually seeing it with your own eyes is entirely different.” He paused in front of Todd, letting his gaze fall away. “And feeling it is something else altogether.” He said this much more quietly, almost to himself.

“I guess that makes sense,” Todd replied.

Dirk looked back at Todd, a relieved smile spreading over his face. “Good,” he said. “I didn’t want you to be mad.”

“I’m not,” Todd assured him. In fact, as he looked at Dirk’s warm expression, he realized he couldn’t be mad if he tried. Especially not when Dirk was standing so close to him, his eyes shining with so much hope, and Todd knew they had a case to solve, but for some reason it didn’t seem as pressing as it had fifteen minutes ago. Still. Whatever was going to happen next would be better off happening in their own time. “We should probably start heading back,” he said.

Dirk gave one sharp nod. “Wonderful idea,” he said, darting off, but not before giving Todd’s shoulder an affectionate squeeze, and damn, if Todd got that kind of rush just from Dirk’s hand touching his shoulder for a second…

“Todd, what are you waiting for?” Dirk called from the stairwell. “There’s work to be done!” 

Todd shook his head in bewilderment and followed Dirk, wondering what in the hell the universe was going to throw at him next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Next chapter should be up on Saturday!


	3. Won't You Come Back Into Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Dirk cheeks became touched with red. “Oh,” he said, voice cracking a bit. “I see. We're… we're going to do this now, are we?”_
> 
> _“I figured we might as well,” Todd said, trying to sound breezy. “I mean, I know we need to solve the case, but--”_
> 
> _“No, no, I believe we've been arguably efficient up to this point. No harm in…” Dirk's gaze flicked nervously between Todd's eyes and lips, and Todd felt his chest tighten. “...taking a quick break.”_
> 
> In which Todd can't fight that feeling anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay, folks! It's been a crazy few days, but hopefully this chapter is worth the wait.
> 
> This chapter is rated M for a pretty detailed almost-sex scene. Nothing explicit, but... things get heated. I hope you enjoy, because Dirk and Todd certainly do.

Todd had learned soon after meeting Dirk that there were moments when the man could be hard to keep up with. Moments when he went barreling into strangers’ garages, or down corridors in subterranean death mazes, leaving Todd in a cloud of dust. This was one of those moments. Dirk tore down the stairs two at a time, and Todd tried in vain to follow the yellow blur ahead of him, but by the time he got to the foot of the staircase, Dirk had vanished out the front door. 

When Todd stepped outside, Dirk was facing him on the front stoop, an incredulous grin on his face. He was pointing over his shoulder at a yellow vehicle that was idling in the street.

“Look, Todd, a cab!” he enthused. “And it’s for us!”

“It is?” Todd asked.

His question was answered when the middle-aged driver poked his head out the window and called out in a gruff voice, “Is one of you Dirk Gently?”

Dirk didn’t take his eyes off Todd. “The other me must have called it for us. Can you _believe_ how nice we are?” He turned to the driver and raised a hand in greeting. “It’s me! I’m Dirk Gently.”

“So _you’re_ the British fella dispatch spoke to,” the driver said. Todd wondered how that conversation had gone; from the man’s tone of voice, it sounded like it had made the rounds.

“In a way, yes,” Dirk began as he and Todd stepped down the stairs and approached the cab. “It’s kind of a funny story, actually--”

Todd gave Dirk a slight kick in the foot, feeling like this cab driver probably didn’t need to know about their illicit time-travel rendezvous. Dirk shot Todd a startled look, but he held his tongue as Todd poked his head through the passenger window.

“Can you take us to Barrett and 28th?” he asked. It was a cross-street a few blocks away from the Spring mansion because, on top of everything else, he really didn’t want to have to explain why they were headed to an old arson scene.

The driver moved his head in what looked enough like assent that Todd clambered into the backseat, Dirk following closely behind. In a move bolder than Todd was expecting, however, Dirk slid into the middle seat, shuffling right up against him so that everything from shoulder to foot was connected. Once again, Todd’s stomach twisted in that familiar, indecipherable way.

“Dirk,” Todd began, planning on telling Dirk very firmly to shove off.

But then Dirk responded with an “Mmm?”, turning to look at him with innocent eyes that reminded Todd of the day’s events, and as the cab started driving, he couldn’t quite remember why he’d wanted the space to begin with.

Dirk was warm. Very warm. And very close against him. So close that Todd could hear the subtleties of his breath and the rhythm of his heartbeat. It was nice. In fact, it was a lot better than nice. Dirk felt sturdy and comforting and real against him, and Todd could see himself reflected in the blue of his eyes, and he thought maybe what had been scaring him all along was how much he _wanted_. But as far as he could see, there was no reason to be afraid anymore. Now he could want, because now he knew he could have, and the proof was upstairs at The Ridgely, apparently calling cabs.

“Never mind,” Todd said. Dirk looked at him bemusedly, but gave him a crooked smile anyway before turning to look out the window.

Maybe this was the first thing in Todd’s life he wasn’t going to screw up. Maybe he wouldn't hurt Dirk. Of course, he knew nothing was certain past this month, but for now, pleasant tingles were beginning to emanate from where his body met Dirk’s, and he was going to let himself enjoy it.

He even imagined what might happen if he took it a step further and placed a hand on Dirk’s knee. He would squeeze lightly, and Dirk would turn to look at him with pleading eyes, silently imploring him to keep going. Or perhaps Dirk would draw closer the second Todd laid hands on him, deft fingers slipping through his belt loops, pressing him into the door of the cab…

And then Todd chose to cut off this line of thinking, not out of shame, but because it immediately became clear to him that fantasizing about Dirk in the back seat of a cab with Dirk pressed against him was dangerous, and the things he might have been tempted to do would probably not be appreciated by their already begrudging driver. So he merely leaned into Dirk’s warmth, just enough for Dirk to notice. Dirk turned to look at him with tender eyes, and then he placed a hand on Todd’s knee and squeezed lightly. Todd couldn’t wipe the smile off his face for the rest of the cab ride.

***

“Right,” Dirk said. “Let’s review.”

Todd was leaning against the desk in Patrick Spring’s basement, his eyes glued to Dirk as he paced the floor. 

“I told me that what we're looking for could be inside a pineapple,” Dirk continued. “What does that mean?”

They hadn't gone back to the past yet, having decided upon arriving at the mansion that their time would be more effectively used if they came up with a game plan first. Dirk had bounced back to business as usual, blabbering a mile a minute about nonsensical strategies and tactics, but Todd was distracted. It wasn't that he was having trouble focusing on Dirk-- in fact, the problem was that it was altogether too easy for Todd to focus on Dirk, thereby entirely ignoring what Dirk was _saying_.

“Todd? What do you think? Should we… go to a supermarket and start cutting up tropical fruit? _No, wait!_ We should let the pineapple come to us. That way, we’ll know it when we see it, right?”

Todd nodded distantly, watching as the frenetic ball of energy that was Dirk crossed the room. Looking at him now, Todd could almost forget that this was the same person who’d been rendered soft and kiss-drunk by Other Todd earlier that day. Except for the fact that the image was burned in his retinas on account of how hopelessly captivating it had been. Dirk had been vulnerable in front of him before, obviously, but never like that. Never in a way that had made Todd feel so... insatiate. 

“Now, as for the people in cowboy hats, I’ve always had a massive distrust for hat-wearing people in general, so no problems there.”

It was like there was a secret level of Dirk that Todd had previously been unaware of, only now he was in possession of the key. There were all the things he was familiar with; everything that made Dirk _Dirk_ , everything that made him so infuriating and so hard to say no to all at once, everything that already had Todd following him to the ends of the earth and back. And now there was all this uncharted territory that Todd was going to get to explore. Figuratively and literally. 

“And then we have Act Five of Hamlet. The title sounds familiar. Is that the one with the three little pigs? I didn't know it _came_ in acts! Todd? Are you listening?”

Todd was not listening. Actually, during that last thought, he'd begun ogling those beauty marks on Dirk’s neck. He found himself wondering whether they were mirrored anywhere else on Dirk’s body, and wanting to find out. It was as though all the feelings and urges Todd had ever repressed about Dirk were now bubbling up uncontrollably, and God, did Dirk have any idea how fucking gorgeous he looked right now? 

“Todd. You've clearly stopped paying attention.”

He remembered watching Other Todd kiss Dirk. _You should really try that sometime_ , Other Todd had told him. It occurred to Todd that Dirk knew what it was like to kiss him, but Todd didn’t yet know what it was like to kiss Dirk. That didn’t seem fair at all. _You should really try that sometime_ …

“Dirk, come here,” he said.

Dirk's face lit up. “Ooh, you _have_ been listening!” he exclaimed, walking over to Todd. “Are you about to forward a theory?”

“Something like that,” Todd replied, reaching up to finger the end of Dirk's tie.

Dirk cheeks became touched with red. “Oh,” he said, voice cracking a bit. “I see. We're… we're going to do this now, are we?” 

“I figured we might as well,” Todd said, trying to sound breezy. “I mean, I know we need to solve the case, but--”

“No, no, I believe we've been arguably efficient up to this point. No harm in…” Dirk's gaze flicked nervously between Todd's eyes and lips, and Todd felt his chest tighten. “...taking a quick break.”

“Yeah, that's what I was thinking.” Todd ran his hand up the fabric of the tie, tightening his grip just below the knot.

“Right,” Dirk said uncertainly, as Todd slowly dragged Dirk towards him. “So, er… How should we--” Todd cut him off by pressing his lips to Dirk's. There was a moment of perfect stillness, and then Dirk whimpered softly and began clumsily moving his lips against Todd's.

All the butterfly or rollercoaster analogies in the world couldn't describe the amount of adrenaline that crashed Todd’s system in that moment. This was Dirk Gently. He was kissing Dirk Gently, his best friend, and he tasted like candy. Everything they'd been through since Todd had first hurled a shoe at him had led them here, to this, to Dirk’s eager, pliant mouth on Todd’s, to Dirk's hands clinging to Todd's hips for dear life. Todd groaned into Dirk's mouth and drew back briefly. 

“Holy shit,” he said, already out of breath. He took in Dirk’s profoundly concentrated expression and tight-knit brows and asked, “You good?”

“Mmm.” Dirk nodded frantically as he moved his eyes over Todd's face. “This is even better than earlier.”

Todd raised his eyebrows. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Erm…”

“Are you saying my skills decline over the next month?” Todd asked, placing a hand on the small of Dirk's back.

“I dunno,” Dirk said. “Maybe you get lazy.”

Todd scoffed and used the hand on Dirk's back to guide him even closer, so their bodies were flush. Dirk shivered and let his eyes fall closed with a trembling breath. 

“Asshole,” Todd teased.

Dirk opened his eyes. “Actually, the one earlier was fairly brilliant, so you should be taking this as a compliment,” he told Todd, inching closer until their noses were brushing. “Speaking of which…”

Todd read him loud and clear. He slid his hand up to Dirk’s neck and into his hair, and Dirk let out a hum of gratitude as they hungrily took each other's mouths again. It was a staggeringly good kiss. Perhaps a bit lacking in the technical department, but Todd didn’t care because it was Dirk’s lips moving against his, making his mind spin with ideas. It was quite possible that Dirk had never done this before, and Todd didn’t know how far they were going to go, but he could think of countless ways to make Dirk feel good. And hopefully draw as many different noises from him as possible. 

When Todd eventually pulled away in order to implement some of these ideas, Dirk tried to chase his mouth, but Todd drew his chin back ever so slightly, pressing his forehead to Dirk’s so all he could do was wait for Todd’s next move. He decided to start with something simple, tentatively gliding his tongue across Dirk's lower lip before taking it between his teeth and biting it. Dirk hissed softly. Todd started stroking his hair as he kissed him again, deeper this time, Dirk’s lips parting enough to let Todd in. When their tongues met, both men made appreciative noises into each other’s mouths, which sent a spike of heat shooting through Todd, prompting him to take a fistful of Dirk’s hair and tug. Dirk yelped, and then gave a gentle gasp as Todd began to suck on his earlobe.

“ _Yes_ , Todd,” he sighed.

Todd gave an “ _Nnngh_ ” of agreement, and then trailed a path down Dirk’s jaw until he reached his neck, where he could finally give those beauty marks the attention they deserved. He made his way around, kissing, licking, sucking, biting Dirk’s tender skin. He could feel Dirk’s heart pounding as he scraped his teeth against his pulse point, and his own was racing to match, especially because Dirk was now making little breathy noises on every exhale. Todd was suddenly overcome with the desire to leave a mark on him, something that identified Dirk as his. In a couple of deliberate movements, he pushed Dirk's jacket off his shoulders, loosened and removed his tie, and undid a couple of Dirk's shirt buttons, trying to expose the necessary amount of skin for his purposes. Having done so, he began to experiment by nipping various spots along Dirk's neck and collarbone until he found the one that made Dirk moan the most. He sucked it lightly for a couple of seconds before pulling away and meeting Dirk's glazed eyes.

“I wanna--” Todd rasped. “Can I--?”

“God, yes.”

Todd breathed out heavily, tucking his face back into Dirk's neck. He found the sweet spot again, Dirk letting out a particularly delicious sound when he did. He began sucking it forcefully, running his tongue along it and nibbling every now and then for good measure. With each movement of his mouth, Dirk's hands were tightening and releasing around Todd's hips in an unbearably good way. When the tips of Dirk's fingers happened to find their way to the skin just under the hem of his shirt, Todd barely held back another groan.

“Fuck, Dirk,” he mumbled into his skin.

Dirk quickly retracted his hands. “Was that wrong?” he asked worriedly.

“No, no, no,” Todd assured him, taking Dirk's hands and placing them back where they’d been (actually, he might have put them a bit further under his shirt than they were before). “You're fucking perfect.”

“I'm-- I'm hardly doing a thing,” Dirk said huskily, as Todd returned to the project he was developing on Dirk's neck. “You're the one who's-- _ahh_ , Jesus, that feels good…”

But Todd wanted to make it feel even better. He came off Dirk’s neck with a pop and hoisted himself up on the desk, swiftly wrapping his legs around Dirk, which evened out their height difference and slotted their hips together exquisitely. That was more like it. He was vaguely aware that he was sitting on machinery of some sort, but he could feel Dirk perfectly against him, fingers drawing faint shapes on Todd's skin, so the dials and knobs poking into his backside couldn't have mattered less. 

“See, like, that--” Todd said, as Dirk's feather-light touches danced over his stomach, “--that's amazing.”

“Really?” Dirk asked, his mouth quirking up in a hopeful smile. Todd nodded emphatically. Dirk must have been emboldened by the encouragement, because his eyes darkened and Todd could see the gears spinning in his head. “What about…?” He slipped his hands all the way up Todd's shirt, and then, carefully watching Todd's face, he grazed Todd's chest and abdomen torturously slowly with his fingernails, stopping only when he reached his jeans, at which point he reached around and did the same thing from Todd's shoulders to the small of his back. Todd arched against him.

“Yeah, yeah,” Todd panted. “That too.”

Dirk seemed quite impressed with himself. “Well then,” he said in a low voice. “I hardly think we need this anymore.” He tugged Todd's shirt up and over his head and tossed it behind him. 

Damn, okay, Todd could get behind this. He fumbled to undo the rest of Dirk's shirt buttons, yanking the garment off and letting it fall to the ground, leaving him in his undershirt. Todd’s stomach stirred when he remembered how toned Dirk's arms were. He hadn't seen them since the death maze, at which point he’d been too preoccupied with not dying to really appreciate them properly. He took a moment to run his hands over the muscles, not failing to notice the ragged pair of crossbow scars on Dirk’s right shoulder. He made a mental note to take care of that later, and then bunched the fabric of Dirk's undershirt up his torso, Dirk raising his arms above his head to allow Todd to pull it off the rest of the way. After dropping that to the ground, too, Todd leaned back and let his eyes roam over Dirk's half-naked form, taking in everything from the satisfying bluish-purple bruise blooming on his neck to the constellations of beauty marks that had been hiding under his clothes. Todd placed his hands reverentially on Dirk's chest. He could feel the heat coming off him, his heart pounding wildly under Todd's right palm. He ran his thumb back and forth over Dirk's collarbone a couple of times and leaned in, intent on letting his hands and mouth explore this new expanse of skin, but then Dirk placed a hand over his. Todd looked up at him.

“Let me,” Dirk breathed. He spread his fingers on Todd's back, closing the gap between them as he licked a stripe from Todd’s shoulder to just below his ear. 

“Oh, man,” Todd said, screwing his eyes shut as Dirk buried his face in his neck and attempted to apply some freshly-learned techniques. 

Todd was suddenly very aware of their every point of contact. Every place where his body touched Dirk's buzzed with electricity, so much so that he wouldn't have been surprised if he'd looked down to find visible static crackling from his skin. All the stimulation was threatening to overpower him, so he tried putting his focus on one feeling at a time. Dirk's hair tickling his cheek. Dirk's tongue flicking back and forth over his jugular. Dirk's breath, steamy on his skin. Dirk's fingers traveling up and down his spine. Todd's hands trapped between their chests. Todd's stomach slick against Dirk’s. Todd's thighs clenched around Dirk's hips. Dirk’s-- fuck, okay, this was having an opposite effect to the one he'd intended.

“Dirk,” Todd exhaled, tightening his legs to the point that Dirk tensed up and squeaked feebly into Todd's throat. Todd paused and opened his eyes. He tapped Dirk's sternum lightly with a finger. “Are you okay?” he asked.

Dirk didn't say anything for a few seconds. Todd could feel Dirk's open mouth against his skin, his breathing unsteady on Todd’s neck as he tried to find words. He finally managed to croak, “Again.”

Todd’s brain short-circuited to the point that he could've sworn he saw sparks fly in front of his eyes. He would later spend a lot of time thinking about the way Dirk had said that one word, but at that moment, he shoved all thoughts aside in favor of rolling his hips deliberately against Dirk's.

“ _Ohhh_ ,” Dirk whined. “More.”

Todd made a noise that rumbled in the back of his throat and removed his hands from between their chests. Gripping the back of Dirk's neck for stability, he rested his forehead against Dirk's and began to rock against him. He shut his eyes, letting the feeling of each thrust sweep over him like a wave. Dirk clung to Todd, making small choked noises into the air between their mouths. It still wasn’t enough. Todd squeezed Dirk's neck and picked up the pace ever so slightly. Dirk responded immediately, shuddering and beginning to move his hips along with Todd, and this—this was good. Dirk clearly thought so, too. 

“Please, Todd, _please_ ,” he begged. “Oh, for God’s sake, yes, that's bloody fantastic, please don't stop, _Todd_ \--”

Todd opened his eyes with a longing groan. He interrupted Dirk's babbling by unwrapping his legs from his waist and hopping down to the ground. Dirk looked as if he were about to protest, but then Todd seized him by the shoulders, spun him around, and bent him backwards, meaning to hold him down on top of the desk. Only something was in the way. 

“ _Ow_ , Todd, the machine,” Dirk complained.

Right. “Shit, sorry,” Todd said, hurriedly releasing Dirk so he could put the offending time machine on the ground beside them. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, just—” Dirk backed up against the desk again and looked at Todd pointedly. Todd bit back a smirk. Dirk was nothing if not subtle. In one smooth movement, he pinned Dirk down on the desk and pressed a thigh tightly between his legs. Dirk moaned his approval, unable to stop himself from rubbing up against him.

“ _ToddToddToddToddTodd_ ,” he uttered in one breathy exhale, squeezing his eyes shut.

Todd’s heart swelled impossibly at hearing Dirk say his name with such desperate need. He wanted Dirk’s eyes open so he could read every detail in them. He lay a hand on his cheek, stroking it. “Hey, look at me, look at me,” he whispered. Dirk struggled, but he did as he was told. Their rhythm never ceasing, they breathed each other in for a long moment. Dirk's bright blue eyes looked as though a wildfire was burning behind them, but Todd also saw a quality of awe there, as if Dirk couldn't believe the universe would ever grant him anything this special. Todd wanted to say something to convey how fully he returned those feelings, but he couldn’t find the words, and actions spoke louder anyway, so he leaned down.

He started with Dirk’s clavicle, his lips wending their way from one side to the other. When he reached Dirk’s right shoulder, he mouthed softly at his scar, and then continued down his sternum. He scavenged the hills and valleys of Dirk's skin for every freckle he could find, leaving Dirk pink-tinged and completely breathless. His mouth teased Dirk's nipples, his teeth closed gently around the skin of Dirk's waist, his tongue dipped into Dirk's navel. He left no stone unturned, no inch of skin unkissed, and all the while, Dirk let out a consistent outpouring of words and sounds. “ _Mmm_ , Todd, your _mouth_ ,” he murmured, impassioned not only by Todd journeying the length of his torso, but also by his own steady grinding against Todd's leg. “Oh, God, _there_.” Todd was having trouble staying silent, too, humming intensely into Dirk's skin whenever the friction was just right.

When he reached the waistband of Dirk's pants, Todd hesitated for a moment, and then began planting wet, bruising kisses across the perfectly pale line of skin just above it. He had pretty much lost all semblance of control, and he knew if they were going to stop, it had to be soon. But Dirk was writhing so enticingly underneath Todd, his breath coming short and fast, and Todd didn't know if he had the self-control to pull away. He wasn't thinking clearly, his mind in a Dirk-induced haze, filled with nothing but the white-hot thought of _This feels good right now_. Testing the boundaries, Todd laid a questioning hand on Dirk’s belt buckle. 

“Wait, stop.” Dirk bolted upright and put his hand over Todd's.

Todd immediately straightened up and retracted his hand. “What, what’s wrong?” 

Dirk looked like this was as painful for him as it was for Todd. “No, nothing at all, just… not yet. Not here.” 

“Oh,” Todd said, trying to catch his breath. “Okay.” 

“Sorry,” Dirk said in a small voice. 

“God, no, the last thing you have to do is apologize, Dirk,” Todd reassured him. 

“Believe me, I-- I _really_ want to--”

“Yeah, me too, but--”

“It's just all happening a bit fast, and--”

“And we're in a basement.”

“Yes, in the future, no less, and we’ve got a case to solve--”

“We don't have, like, condoms or lube or anything.”

“Precisely. We're woefully unprepared, and I think we can do better than messily rushing through our first time in the dingy basement of a severely fire-damaged mansion.”

A grin broke over Todd’s face at the matter-of-fact way Dirk said “our first time”, like it was a guarantee, which, of course, it was.

“What?” Dirk asked, taken aback by the breadth of Todd’s smile.

“Nothing, it’s…” Todd reached up to press a languid kiss to Dirk’s lips, a kiss filled with promise and possibility and perhaps something verging on love. 

Todd’s smile must have been infectious, because when he pulled away, Dirk was beaming. After a pause, he gushed, “That _was_ rather good, wasn't it? Admittedly, I don't have much experience in the matter, but...”

“Yeah, no, that was-- that was really good.” Like better than anything Todd could remember. “Like… really good.” 

Dirk’s smile grew tenfold. “I thought so. And we can pick up where we left off as soon as we figure out this whole mess about the pineapples and the pigs.”

“There are no pigs, Dirk.”

Dirk stared at Todd like he’d just vomited confetti. (Perhaps a poor analogy, because Todd could easily picture Dirk being thrilled by confetti vomit. The point was, Dirk looked confused.) “Of course there are pigs, weren't you listening?” he asked. Then, his eyes narrowed and the corner of his mouth lifted in a cheeky smile. “Todd, was I so distracting that you didn't even hear the bit about the pigs?”

“Dirk,” Todd said firmly. “As distracting as you are, I promise you there are no pigs.”

“If you say so,” Dirk said, shaking his head sympathetically as he eased himself down from the desk. “But you’re going to feel pretty foolish when we end up surrounded by swine.”

“Surrounded by-- weren’t you just confusing Shakespeare with a fairy tale?” Todd asked. “Since when are we getting _surrounded_ by the fictional pigs?”

“You’re not making any sense, Todd,” Dirk said as he went to grab the time machine from the ground. He stuck it in its place on the desk and adjusted the settings to send them back to their own time. Still very much half-naked. And as much as Todd enjoyed seeing Dirk shirtless, he knew he wouldn’t enjoy hearing Dirk mourn the loss of his favorite yellow jacket for the next month, so he spoke up.

“Dirk? Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Dirk looked at him, bewildered, until Todd indicated the pile of discarded clothes at their feet. He smiled sheepishly. “Oh. Right. What would I do without you, Todd?”

“Forget your clothes in the future and travel through time half-naked, I’m guessing.”

“It’s a distinct possibility.”

Todd took about five seconds to put his shirt back on, and then stood watching as Dirk scrambled to put on his undershirt, button his shirt, redo his tie, and slip on his jacket. When he was done, he looked up at Todd. Now it was almost impossible to tell that anything had happened between them, except for their messy hair. And their heartbeats, which hadn’t quite slowed to normal yet. And the heat still sizzling between them as they approached the time machine, Dirk placing a hand on the crank, and Todd placing a hand on Dirk’s. This time, when he shivered, he knew exactly why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, just the epilogue left now! I'm hesitant to say when it will be up since this one was almost a week late, but it really shouldn't be more than a couple of days, as it is much shorter than the other chapters (but hopefully just as sweet).
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! I appreciate all of you! <3


	4. Where You Belong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The smart and patient course of action would be for Todd to pick things up with Dirk after a nice, long rest. Maybe get a bite to eat first. Shower off the grime of the case. Yeah, if Todd were smart and patient, that’s certainly what he would do._
> 
> _Todd, however, was an impatient idiot._
> 
> In which all loose ends are tied up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue! At long last! 
> 
> This chapter isn't nearly as explicit as the last one, but I'll give it a T rating because our boys do consummate their relationship, bless their hearts.
> 
> Enjoy!

They solved the case in record time. The advice Other Them had offered proved to be supremely useful. Well, except for one thing—what they were looking for didn’t end up being inside a pineapple, though to be fair, Other Dirk had said it may or may not be, so technically he hadn’t lied. Also, much to Todd’s confusion and chagrin, there was a moment when the two of them found themselves surrounded by pigs. But despite those temporary setbacks, they prevailed, and the loose ends that had so recently seemed like live wires now seemed like pieces of string for them to tie up. 

By the time they returned to the Ridgely, the exhaustion had caught up with Todd. He could tell Dirk was worn out too, his post-case chatter more subdued than usual. 

“I’m just relieved we both knew how to swim,” he said, as Todd unlocked his door and dragged his feet into the apartment. Dirk followed him in lethargically and closed the door. “Those cowboys certainly didn’t. Their horses, on the other hand, were quite proficient in the water. It’s really too bad about that tidal wave, but I suppose there are bound to be casualties.” 

“Yeah,” Todd said distractedly, taking a few arduous steps into the middle of the room. When he reached the couch, he stopped and heaved a sigh, trying to muster up enough energy to toe off his shoes. He managed to kick them off after a brief internal struggle. And then he stood there in his socks, facing away from Dirk, who had fallen uncharacteristically silent.

It hadn’t escaped Todd that by solving the case, they had met the one criterion necessary for them to finish what they’d started in the basement. He hadn’t stopped thinking about it the entire way home, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it now. Todd wondered if Dirk was thinking about it, too. If he concentrated, he could hear him breathing softly by the door, and it conjured up an onslaught of powerful sense memories. The sight of Dirk unravelling beneath him, the sound of Dirk’s erratic inhalations, the feeling of Dirk’s open mouth against his neck, warm breath ghosting his skin. 

But Todd was practically asleep on his feet, and it’s not like they had a time limit. The smart and patient course of action would be for him to pick things up with Dirk after a nice, long rest. Maybe get a bite to eat first. Shower off the grime of the case. Yeah, if Todd were smart and patient, that’s certainly what he would do. 

Todd, however, was an impatient idiot.

Slowly, he turned around to look at Dirk. Their eyes locked, and Todd heard Dirk’s breath hitch, saw the exact place where it caught in his chest. Fuck fatigue.

They moved in unison, each taking a couple of strides towards the other until they met in the middle, their lips crashing together with the weight of everything they had been through. For Todd, it was the equivalent of at least two espresso shots; he was instantly roused, giving every ounce of his energy and focus to this kiss. It was a more urgent one than they’d shared before. This was a kiss of challenges made and accepted. This was lips, tongues and teeth, fingers, thumbs and palms. Heated skin, heaving chests and hammering hearts. They kept matching each other move for move, their pace building, their need building with it, and just when Todd couldn’t bear it any longer, Dirk stopped and drew in a shaky breath. “Take me to bed, Todd,” he said in a whisper. 

Todd went still. He pulled back a little and stared intently into Dirk’s sincere, desperate eyes. They were so blue and full, it felt like Todd could probably drown in them. He gave a small nod. Then, enveloping Dirk’s lips in his once again, he walked them backwards until they tumbled clumsily onto his mattress, no questions asked because they both already knew the answers. Because they’d both quite literally seen the future and they knew what it held. 

They were soon reduced to a sweaty tangle of sheets and naked limbs. Their hands and mouths roamed as their bodies bonded, and now Todd _was_ drowning. He’d experienced the feeling before, but this wasn’t the panicky scrabble for missing breath that he suffered during attacks. This was the sweetest form of drowning he’d ever known. It was pools of warmth overflowing inside him, pure sensation flooding him from the tips of his toes to the top of his head. He was sinking deep into the ocean that was Dirk, clinging on for dear life, though that only dragged him down faster. And just when he thought he would finally run out of breath, he found himself careening upwards until he broke the surface, gasping for air, Dirk right there with him.

They lay there for a time after that, recovering their breath as they held each other, dazed and spent and more than a little in love. Dirk drifted off first, his tousled head of hair nestled perfectly in the crook of Todd’s neck, an arm and a leg slung proprietorially across Todd’s body. Todd fell asleep tracing lazy patterns on Dirk’s bare back, connecting the dots of freckles on his skin. It was the happiest he could ever remember being.

***

The next month flew by in a blur. The day after they solved the case, Farah returned from Belize, bringing back a certain fuchsia jacket for Dirk and some coffee beans for Todd. From that point on, the agency began to receive an unusually steady stream of cases, which resulted in them spending their days and nights knee-deep in detective work.

Dirk and Todd elected to tell Farah about what had happened right away, as their relationship was a certainty at this point, and there was no sense whatsoever in trying to hide it from her. As they told her the story (trying to eliminate the more sordid details), Farah sat rod-straight and listened politely, if slightly uncomfortably (if only because Dirk wasn’t quite so good at eliminating the sordid details). At the end, she expressed her happiness for them, though Todd noted that she didn’t seem surprised by the relationship. Had everyone expected this but him?

The answer was yes. When Todd told Amanda about him and Dirk, her exact words were, “Dude, finally. Congrats on getting your head out of your ass.” She then gave him a begrudging hug and said into his ear, “If you hurt him, I’m gonna stick your head so far _back up_ your ass, it’ll come out your ear.” He could tell she was secretly very pleased. 

It quickly became necessary for Farah to develop a list of ground rules for Dirk and Todd’s workplace romance. One of these rules was that they weren’t allowed to do anything that wasn’t G-rated while on a case, lest they compromise the professionalism and efficiency of their agency. It was a good rule in theory, but not necessarily in practice, and the two of them often ended up agreeing that it would be fine to break it “just this once”, as they’d “made a hugely impressive and unprecedented breakthrough in the case” that had probably saved them “just enough time to make up for it”. 

So whether it was a reward after a case well-solved, or an indiscretion during the moments they couldn’t keep their hands off each other, there were quite a few days that month that found Todd straddling Dirk on his couch. Maybe that was why they didn’t see it coming. Or maybe it was because the month had been so jam-packed that the time had passed without anyone keeping track. But when Dirk and Todd were interrupted one afternoon by two people exploding through the window and thudding to the ground, it was a genuine shock. 

One of them let out a pained groan as Todd and Dirk dragged away from each other in panic, Dirk whipping around to poke his head over the back of the couch, trying to make out what Todd now clearly recognized as himself and Dirk.

“Oh, Todd, don’t worry!” Dirk said breathlessly, placing his hand on Todd’s thigh in relief. “It’s only us!”

“Yeah, I realized that,” Todd said.

He smiled to himself. This was going to be a hell of a lot of fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it. I hope you all enjoyed. 
> 
> Eternal thanks to everyone who read this fic, commented on it, left kudos, etc. I haven't written anything like this since 2012, and you all made it such a lovely experience that I'm just going to have to write more. 
> 
> Until next time! <3


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